Primitive UFO's

I took the train (actually a bus for most of the route, due to a tunnel collapse) with the bike.  This is Jenn's bike, that she has let me borrow for the ride: a Bianchi Vigorelli, old school steel frame, Italian bike with Japanese (Shimano) components.  Jenn also helped me pack, and even let me use her suitcase (pretty much insisted) 
Amtrak brought me to Emeryville station.  I disembarked with a bike and a giant ass suitcase and sleeping bag, had to take an UBER SUV to Timothy's place in Berkeley, where he had stashed a key. I walked up to Telegraph to peruse thrift stores for my 'red dress day' outfit.

Saturday i took the bike with me on the Bart,
I got lost, almost right away.  i brought the bike off the train with me, and the turn style wouldn't let me out!  while I was trying to get the turnstile to take the ticket, two guys jumped the turnstile.  meanwhile I can't even get out with the bike, the readout said, "see agent"
So i went to the little agent station and told the guy, he just waved to a 'handicapped' exit, I went out and appeared on mission street, 
i rode the bike down Mission, Bayshore, San Bruno, Geneva Avenue to the Cow Palace.
I sat next to a young guy named Aaron, and we were joined by an older gal, named Erin.
I did the safety training that is required, parked the bike, and went back to Berkeley

THE RIDE

DAY ONE, ride out from Cow Palace, I missed a lot of the opening ceremony, and its emotional, at least i caught the part where Lorrie jean said that this year's ALC had broken all previous records, and raised $16.6 million for services for HIV and AIDS.

I had a pretty strong start
but about 40 miles into the ride I had a CRASH
a truck moved over into my lane a bit and I rode off the shoulder and landed in a bush. So,
i got sagged from rest stop two by the scooby sag.
camp in Harvey went Park, Santa Cruz.  A guy named Erik appeared to help me pitch my tent (wink wink)


DAY 2
107.7 miles.  I rode every single mile of this day, and actually made good time.
You HAVE to use the 'butt butter' which is a creamy salve that goes on your taint to prevent chaffing and soreness.  It works if you use it BEFORE any pain or irritation starts, and I was prudent, and used it before i got sore, 'down there'
We rode through a lot of agricultural areas, Salinas, Moss Landing, Castroville
there were strong winds, and most of the time, it was at our backs, which is great!  Tailwinds rock, you can get a good speed with far less effort. but then you make a turn and it becomes a side-wind, and these can be very dangerous and tricky.
Its all worth it when you pull into the "otter Pop Stop"



camp in King City.  Sorry, this place is a shit hole.

DAY THREE
Quad buster completed, not a 'strong' ascent, but i did it.
but I got exhausted, and rode the 'sag bus' into camp from rest stop 2
missed lunch and that hurt me a bit.
the bus drove me to camp and I went to sport Medicine, they got me stretching and made some recommendations on my cycling form
I got my massage, and asked the masseuse to 'work the legs'  Ouch. He looked at my scrape from the crash and said, go get that looked at
so i went to Medical tent and they put some neosporin on the road rash,
camped at Mistate Fairgrounds, Paso Robles.  Windy, cold. 
I took a LYFT to the laundromat, it was a mercedes benz, the driver was an old white guy, and he did not know where in the fuck he was going, missed two turns, and my ride ended up costing almost twice as much as the estimate.  I wanted to give him 'NO STARS' but LYFT doesn't appear to let me rate the driver.

DAY FOUR
I completed over 80 miles of the course, slowly, and painfully,
but rest stop four closed as I was rolling in, and they pulled me off the course and put me back on that bus again!
camped in Santa Maria. windy and cold. I slept like a gin-soaked log for a good 8 hours,

DAY FIVE

RED RESS DAY!

Santa Maria to Lompoc
This ride was only 40 miles, but cold in the morning and i had a tough time warming up.  at rest stop one, I got ibuprofen and tylenol, and that helped relieve the pain.
i rode slowly, but I did ok.

Day Six
at beakfast I sat next to Mike, one of the long-time Moto Crew
I told him of my aspirations to be on the Moto crew, and he said, yes, it used to be tough to get a spot, but now they're losing the 'old guard' and they're willingn to take on new members.  The Crew Leader owns a bar on mission and 16th in SF called the Killowatt, and if you go there and meet him, he'll probably accept you.


I rode slowly, and tok lots of long breaks, but I made it to lunch, and then finally rolled into a water stop and hung up my bike on the sag rack, and I climbed aboard that bus again.
another rider sat down next to me, and turns out she's a salty dog, from the Salty Dog Cruise
I had my Mom and Flarbie pick me up in Ventura, and ive elected to not ride the last day, due to exhaustion, and 'been there done that.'
The last day used to be a fairly easy route down highway one (paccific coast highway) through oxnard, port  hueneme, (shudder) both towns reek like shit, and you're bound to get at least a little taste of fertilizer on the way through.  Point Mugu can be really chilly, and the cold mornings were part of what hurt me so much,
but after my crash on day one, I was a little off my game.  I've done this ride four times before, but only got sagged once before this year, so this time around, I felt I should go easy on myself
I hit all my personal goals for the ride,
Including, just making it TO the ride.  I could've easily scheduled hours for that time, and god knows i need the money.

</cut>
I'm in Redondo Beach for a few days

Davy jones Locker Combo plays a high school reunion party (Class of 2008) June 16 (Junction City OR)
The Indiscretions play at sam bonds 6/28
Davy jones Locker Combo plays Jonny B's in Medford July 3rd with Koi Division
Pirate Radio plays July 24 at some show somewhere
August is pretty active for me, including tenmile mountain jam in Yachats OR, and Pirate Radio opening for Sloppy Seconds for 2 shows.

As always, thanks for reading!

yours truly,

Fred X Mertz

P.S.

<cut text="Regarding the NOFX controversy:">


Oh, Yeah.  I didn't go to punk rock bowling in Las Vegas, but I dont think the comments made by NOFX deserved all the hubbub, I mean, they're known for being controversial and just plain punk fucking rock, its nice to see right wingers and white-ass white people act super snowflakey and butthurt, the things they accuse lefties and progressives of.  If you're so against being politically correct, be aware that street goes two ways.

 </cut>