Lynne Cheney Jr.
May. 15th, 2006 06:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fredxmertzPRESIDENT (GW BUSH) RESPONDS TO BILL CLINTON'S COMMUNIST PLOT TO DENY AMERICA'S YOUTH THE FREEDOM® TO BE DIABETES-RAVAGED LARDASSES
[RING]
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Hello?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Billy Bob, this here's President Bush. Listen, I'm calling on account of I heard about your deal with Big Beverage – the one to ban sody-pop in all the schools.
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Yes?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Now normally I don't pay much attention to that edumacation stuff – or anything else that isn't me jerking off to live a live video feed from the nose of a cruise missile – but since this involves the reckless prioritizing of human life over the all-important bottom lines of ultra-huge corporations, naturally I got concerned.
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Well, as you know, I began my anti-obesity campaign after undergoing quadruple bypass surgery for heart disease, which I attribute to a lifetime of unhealthy eating–
PRESIDENT BUSH: Oh yeah? I thought you got that from having to put up with old Ms. Senator Frostybox from New York!
PRESIDENT CLINTON: (Polite chuckle.) Well, that's awfully funny, but as you know, for many years my diet consisted of too much fast food and sugary–
PRESIDENT BUSH: Slow down there, Clint-o. Look, the reason I'm calling is because you seemed to forget one thing: you're not the Decider anymore. I'm the motherfucking Decider, and if I decide that the free market should turn America's public school kids into rotten-toothed, jiggle-titted pigbeasts, swilling 20 oz. vanilla Cokes between their Intelligunt Desine and McJesus Theory classes, then that's the way it's gonna be, hear?
PALAST HAS A NEW BOOK
"Worried about Dick Cheney listening in Sunday on your call to Mom? That ain’t nothing. You should be more concerned that they are linking this info to your medical records, your bill purchases and your entire personal profile including, not incidentally, your voting registration."
* Greg Palast, investigative reporter with the BBC and author of the books "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy" and "Democracy and Regulation." His latest book is "Armed Madhouse: Who’s Afraid of Osama Wolf? China Floats, Bush Sinks, The Scheme to Steal "08, No Child’s Behind Left, and Other Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Class War."
[RING]
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Hello?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Billy Bob, this here's President Bush. Listen, I'm calling on account of I heard about your deal with Big Beverage – the one to ban sody-pop in all the schools.
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Yes?
PRESIDENT BUSH: Now normally I don't pay much attention to that edumacation stuff – or anything else that isn't me jerking off to live a live video feed from the nose of a cruise missile – but since this involves the reckless prioritizing of human life over the all-important bottom lines of ultra-huge corporations, naturally I got concerned.
PRESIDENT CLINTON: Well, as you know, I began my anti-obesity campaign after undergoing quadruple bypass surgery for heart disease, which I attribute to a lifetime of unhealthy eating–
PRESIDENT BUSH: Oh yeah? I thought you got that from having to put up with old Ms. Senator Frostybox from New York!
PRESIDENT CLINTON: (Polite chuckle.) Well, that's awfully funny, but as you know, for many years my diet consisted of too much fast food and sugary–
PRESIDENT BUSH: Slow down there, Clint-o. Look, the reason I'm calling is because you seemed to forget one thing: you're not the Decider anymore. I'm the motherfucking Decider, and if I decide that the free market should turn America's public school kids into rotten-toothed, jiggle-titted pigbeasts, swilling 20 oz. vanilla Cokes between their Intelligunt Desine and McJesus Theory classes, then that's the way it's gonna be, hear?
PALAST HAS A NEW BOOK
"Worried about Dick Cheney listening in Sunday on your call to Mom? That ain’t nothing. You should be more concerned that they are linking this info to your medical records, your bill purchases and your entire personal profile including, not incidentally, your voting registration."
* Greg Palast, investigative reporter with the BBC and author of the books "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy" and "Democracy and Regulation." His latest book is "Armed Madhouse: Who’s Afraid of Osama Wolf? China Floats, Bush Sinks, The Scheme to Steal "08, No Child’s Behind Left, and Other Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Class War."
